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Later in the day, Grace and Ivan will be having their ROM event.
Yet another friend who can officially put "married" in their marital status.

Can't imagine how exciting it must feel.. I wonder if they can sleep well tonight.
I'm getting all jittery and butterflies in my tummy just putting myself in their shoes. Hurhur.





For those who are going.. Don't forget the dress code is sports attire!


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I don't know how many times I've said this to my friends but I had always wanted to get married at a younger age. I don't want to end up having kids after thirty, though I can totally see it happening now. My own Mom got married at 23, which she says is "not that young". True true indeed. I wouldn't have considered very much and gotten married at 23 if given the circumstances. But how many of us would get married at this "not that young" age? Most of my friends have just finished school and unless they're with a much older guy who can't wait to settle down, they wouldn't get married just when they are going to get their asses into the workforce and carve a piece of their own career.

I remember watching shows or reading books in which people in the Western countries get married while still in college. How viable is that in Singapore? How would people think of you? Here, parents still feel that they are responsible of their kids when they're still in school (no matter what school that is) and well basically, kids still depend on their parents greatly - especially when it comes to money. Getting married in school is like telling your parents "I'm not working. I don't have money. So please allow me to continue living off you and help me take care of one more person (or two, if pregnant)." Good if your parents are both still working and have a pretty stable income.. though they wouldn't be able to enjoy retirement as soon as they had planned.

I mean, we all know of people who get married at a young age.. cos they either find condoms expensive, don't know that having sex without one leads to pregnancy, don't know that there are contraceptive measures available, or those who are aware but can't be bothered. Of course, there are also those that are plain unlucky. And when they end up with babies, who suffers? The grandparents of the babies. I don't know if they do it willingly or not.. Cos from what I see, I think my Aunt enjoys it pretty much despite her complaining about it.

So anyway.. (I'm so going off tangent)

The more I think about it, the more inadequate I feel. I don't think I'm prepared to be a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law. Especially when I read articles about bringing up kids, surviving through teenage years and all that, my brain just keep rejecting the idea of getting married earlier.
It scares me that I don't really know how to bring up a child.
It's scarier to be a mother than a wife. You are responsible for another person's life, character, future. You know how people always tend to use 没家教 or 你妈妈没有教你吗 when scolding kids. I'm really worried that I won't be a good mother.

There are so many things to remember, like you have to say "can you do this" instead of "don't do this" cos the child's brain can't process negative very well. And you would want to instill values in a child from a young age and not regret the rest of your life when the kid turns out a monster. And you must remember not to feed a kid too much when he's 8months (iirc) cos that's when fat cells are developing so that he won't have too many fat cells, so not likely to be fat when he grows up.. Lol. And so many more things to consider that I'm not aware of.
Then kids will learn from their parents, be it good or bad habits so I even need to work on myself. My character, my habits and my lifestyle.
What about agreeing as a couple as to how to bring up the kids?
I also don't know if I can live with other people if I have to stay with the in-laws. I mean, everybody have their own habits and ways of communication. I guess I could get used to it but what if I can't handle it?

I really look at Mom and admire her for her strength and tolerance all these years. I don't know how she coped and how she so selflessly managed all the tasks put to her. I don't think I'll be as great a mother as her.

I don't know if I'll feel more equipped when I'm older and seen more of life, but as of now, I actually quite glad no wedding bells are going to be ringing for me anytime soon. It gives me more years to continue living off the parents, having no commitments and not worrying about the house/kids/bills/housechores.

Even though the Mom is like constantly counting out loud the years before Hans and I can settle down, I doubt she is really mentally prepared for me to make any life-changing decisions now.

Neither am I.